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[11 Feb 2006|11:47am] |
got a picture of you, i carry in my heart
close my eyes to see you and the world gets dark
got a memory of you i carry in my soul
i wrap it close around me when the nights get cold
and if you ask me how im doin` id say just fine, but the truth is baby
if you could read my mind not a day goes by that i don`t think of you
today, is one month for the death of my beloved grandfather.
this is the hardest thing i've ever had to do.
=[
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| <33 |
[05 Jul 2005|05:34am] |
tell the truth...
1. smoked a cigarette? yes
2. smoked a cigar? yes
3. made out with a member of the same sex? no
4. crashed a friend's car? no
5. stolen a car? yes
6. been in love? yes
7. been dumped? yes
8. shoplifted? yes
9. been fired? no
10. been in a fist fight? yes
11. snuck out of ur house? kind of
12. had feelings for someone who didnt have them back? hasn't everyone?
13. been arrested? yeah haha omfg
14. made out with a stranger? no
15. gone on a blind date? no
16. lied to a friend? yes
17. had a crush on a teacher? yes
18. skipped school? not school, maybe a class or two
19. slept with a co-worker? get the fuck out of here
20. seen someone die? no
21. been on a plane? yes, but not rode in one
22. thrown up in a bar? no
23. taken painkillers? yes
24. love someone or miss someone right now? yes
25. laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? yup
26. made a snow angel? yessss
27. played dress up? yes
28. cheated while playing a game? who hasn't??
29. been lonely? yes
30. fallen asleep at work/school? haha yeah all the time
31. used a fake id? no, i need to tho so i can go clubbin`
32. felt an earthquake? nope
33. touched a snake? maybe when i was a kid, but i doubt it
34. ran a red light? lets see its gonna be awhile before i get that L
35. been suspended from school? no
36. had detention? yes
37. been in a car accident? yes
38. hated the way you look? yes
39. witnessed a crime? no
40. pole danced? if you count in someones bacement with like a water pole..
41. been lost? yup
42. been to the opposite side of the country? yes
43. felt like dying? yes
44. cried yourself to sleep? yes
45. played cops and robbers? i can't really remember
46. karaoke? hell yes, i love singin
47. done something you told yourself you wouldn't? unfortunately
48. laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose? yeah milk haha
49. caught a snowflake on your tongue? yes
50. kissed in the rain? i wish
51. sing in the shower? who doesnt?
52. made love in a park? thats a negative
53. had a dream that you married someone? idk
54. glued your hand to something? i'm sure i have
55. got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? nope
56. worn the opposite sex's clothes? yes
57. been a cheerleader? tried..
58. sat on a roof top? yes
59. didn't take a shower for a week? probably
60. ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? nope
61. played chicken? ......maybe?
62. been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? nah i wish.
63. been told you're hot by a complete stranger? pretty.
64. broken a bone? no thank god
65. been easily amused? yes very
66. laugh so hard you cry? all the time
67. mooned/flashed someone? oh i used to moon people all the time lmao
68. cheated on a test? yes.
69. forgotten someone's name? yes
70. slept naked? prbably
71. gone skinny dipping in a pool? no
72. been kicked out of your house? too many times
73. blacked out from drinking? no
74. played a prank on someone? yes
75. gone to a late night movie? no
76. made love to anything not human? WTF
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[03 Jul 2005|02:57am] |
---»You are...(looks)
[x] tall
[ ] in between
[ ] short
[ ] blonde
[ ] redhead
[ ] brunette
[x] black
[ ] blue-eyed
[x] brown-eyed
[ ] green-eyed
[ ] hazel eyed
[ ] gold/gray eyed
[ ] black-eyed
[x] glasses
[x] contacts
[ ]braces
[ ] freckles
[x] piercing(s)
[ ] tatoos
[ ] long hair
[ ] short hair
[x] med. Hair
Your nationality includes...
[ ] chinese
[x] indian
[ ] taiwanese
[ ] japanese
[ ] hispanic
[ ] nicoya
[ ] puerto rican
[ ] chicana
[ ] italian
[ ] scottish
[ ] filipino
[ ] dutch
[ ] french
[ ] German
[ ] Irish
[ ] Greek
[ ] Portuguese
[ ] Hispanic
[ ] polish
[ ] korean
[ ] jamacian
[ ] canadian
[ ] lithuanian
[x] Native American
[ ] Russian
[ ] British
[x] African
[x] Other
[ ] Australian
Your favorite color(s) are?
[ ] red
[x] pink
[ ] yellow
[x] black
[x] green
[x] blue
[x] white
[ ] silver
[ ] purple
[ ] brown
[ ] orange
[ ] gray
Some sports/physical things you have done?
[ ] football
[ ] cheerleading
[x] dancing
[ ] lacrosse
[x] soccer
[ ] field hockey
[ ] hockey
[ ] rugby
[ ] softball
[ ] wrestling
[x] gymnastics
[x] track/cross country
[x] Basketball
[ ] baseball
[ ] golf
[x] playing in the mud
[x] playing music
[x] hiking
[x] camping
[ ] horseback riding
[ ] marching band
[ ] Skateboarding
Your personality is sometimes...
[x] annoying
[x] talkative
[x] shy
[x] funny
[x] serious
[ ] bubbly
[ ] spazzy sometimes
[x] fun loving
[x] laid back
[ ] strict
[x] hyper
[x] weird
The music you like is?
[x] rap
[x] rock
[x] pop
[x]country
[x] hiphop
[x] r&b
[x] slow jams
[x]christian
[ ] classical
[x]techno
[x oldies
[x] punk
[x] Metal
[ ] reggae
[ ] Goth
[ ] Latin
The pets you have are?
[ ]cat
[ ] dog
[ ] lizard
[ ] rat
[ ] ferret
[ ] rabbit
[ ] fish
[ ] other
Clothes you like to wear are?
[x] plain tshirts
[ ] sweatshirts
[ ] stockings (since when do people say STOCKINGS?)
[ ] high heels
[x] sneakers
[x] jeans
[ ]pajama pants
[x] boxers
[x] underwear (haha... dont ask)
[ ]dresses
[x] mini skirts
[ ] long skirts
[ ] watches
[x] necklace
[x] hoop earring(s)
[ ] toe socks
[x] flip flops
[x] halter tops
[ ] stilletos
[x] band shirts
[x] shorts
[x] skate clothes
How do you like to wear your hair?
[x] down
[x] ponytail
[ ] pigtails
[x] messy bun
[x] half ponytail
[x] scrunched/curly
[x] bun
[x] crimped
[ ] with a bandana
[x] French braids
[ ] lots of little braids
[x] Gel
[ ] Hat
[ ] messy (bed head)
[ ] Fohawk
[ ] SIDE SWEEP
You eat?
[x] dessert
[x] meat
[ ] diet stuff
[x] healthy foods
[x] junk foods
[x] a lot of carbs
[ ] lots of meat
[x] salad
[ ] seafood
A typical friday night...
[ ] mall with your friends
[x] partying
[x] watching movies
[x] going to the club
[x] staying home
[x] babysitting and getting $$
[x] hanging out w/ my friends
[ yea, right, i wish] hanging out w/ your boyfriend/girlfriend
[ ] working while your friends are out having fun!
[ ] going to gigs with your friends
[x] other
Currently you are...
[ ]in a relationship
[ ] single and lovin it
[ ] crushing
[x]single and looking for someone
[ ] just broke up. . . and so sad about it.
[ ]sexually confused
Online, you use:
[x] lol
[ ] sup
[x] =D
[x] lmao
[x] stfu
[ ] ty
[x] jk
[x] ttyl
[x] lylas/lylab
[x] g2g
[x] ^^
[ ] T_T
Did you like this survey?
[ ] yeah
[ ] no!
[x] it was ok
[ ] it was something to do
|
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| wasting words on lowercases & capitals. |
[10 Jun 2005|04:56pm] |
things have been sucking lately, but an update, its been like what a year? whoa awesome.
oh yeah, add me on MYSPACE. mmkay ho's. thanks.
so here's the deal, there's this kid i've liked for like 2 years now, and he's got a rep as a P.I.M.P and recenctly i finnally got a chance to make out with him, my god was i excited, i told my best friend, and another good friend, and tonight he IM's me saying..
lilwo15: A this is edwin
ushersbabygrl 07: what up
lilwo15: Umm what's up is that we didn't do nothin
ushersbabygrl 07: ...?
lilwo15: 3 in the morning and nothin happened
ushersbabygrl 07: ok?
lilwo15: What the hell are you tellin everybody u better stop playin
ushersbabygrl 07: i'm not telling everybody anything
lilwo15: Jon and andrew
ushersbabygrl 07: swear they made that shit up then cos i dont even talk to jon like that
lilwo15: What about jessica
ushersbabygrl 07: jessica i told her that i kissed you which is what happened, i mean if you want to say it didnt or that you were drunk or whatever you can do what you do
lilwo15: No nothin happened
ushersbabygrl 07: alright then
ushersbabygrl 07: i made the shit up
lilwo15: Aight
ushersbabygrl 07: i mean are we cool or what
lilwo15: Man I dunno ill holla lata
ushersbabygrl 07: i mean what the fuck?
lilwo15.. has signed off.
yeah he freaking lied, saying nothing happened.. hello? we made out, thats something. but i mean i'm totally crushed, thanks.
this is how i feel;;
SO HERES TO TEENAGE ROMANCE AND
NEVER KNOWING WHY IT HURT LIKE HELL
" it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
i want you but i'm not giving in this time"
He came and went
I gnawed through my lip
Makeup smeared in her eyes
Each sob's a reason to say goodbye
Sometimes when you're holding on you'll never see the light
i wanted you for nothing more
than hating you for what you were
IF YOU NEED ME, I'M OUT ON THE PARKWAY
PATIENT & WAITING FOR HEADLIGHTS. <|3
i wont ever ask if you won't ever tell me
i know you well enough to know you never loved me
--
Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team
We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it
--
You are the worst actor that I have ever seen
but if the script called for liars, you would
play the lead <|3
|
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| fuck. |
[13 Aug 2004|06:06am] |
so much for my happy ending ;;; talk about a fucking disaster for a birthday.
YOU SAID I DESERVED a good birthday. then why the HELL was it SO FUCKED UP? omfg, yesterday was the worst birthday ever. &do you know what i got? not a damn thing. nothing from my parents or anyone. debbie is just a big fuck up. I didnt do anything, go anywhere. FUCK YOU TOO BITCHES. actually yesterday was one of the worst days i've had in awhile. fuck itttt. i'm just another dissapointment.
all i wanted was;;
1] some hott bracelets
2] a studded belt or hott choker
3] black nail polish cause i'm all out
4] black/pink converse hightops.
5] money for clothes
but no i didnt get ANYTHING. &you know what i saw my mom on her computer on some "help my teen" site. i wanted to laugh my head off when i saw it. but what would that do? get me some parents who actually care? or money to by myself something for my birthday? i didnt even get fucking cake and icecream. NOTHING. fucccck you. i actually feel like cutting myself. but that wont make anything better. it'd only cause me more pain, i might actually do it too. cause im that mad.i wish that all this pain could just go away. i feel as if i should die right now. do you know what that feels like? because i dont think you do
p.s those who sent me a card cause i actually didnt get any presents at all, it did not go un-noticed. i love you. &those who plan on sendding a present if you lost the address or something IM me;; x3kissitgoodbye.
i'll do a real update later if im not bleeding on my bathroom floor.
oh and some of you seem to think this is about me not getting presents. HA. you dont know the half! this is about me being threatend. physically abused. the mental physical &emotional pain that i am caused everyday &it just happened to have ALOT more on what was supposed to be MY DAY. i have nothing to look forward to except more pain &self destruction.
oh &things with darnell. lets just say i fucked that up too.
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| <|3 will someone please call a surgeon who can crack my ribs &repair this broken heart? |
[07 Aug 2004|06:07am] |
just tell nemo you couldn't find him cause you were getting stoned. he'll understand.mwuahahaha.
our family reunion is tomorrow. i dont even wanna go. i wanna hang out with darnell. this is one haute mofo yo. yeahh you can read about it on my xanga if you wish. i do not feel like posting it twice. i am a lazy bum.
so anyways my birthday is in 5 days the twelth of aug., send me something? i might actually get something this year if you do. IM me for the address if you are rad.
i need to go clean.later kids.
everything means nothing, if i aint got you baby
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| wow. |
[25 Jul 2004|10:40am] |
i`m heavensent dont you dare forget
I`ve decided to update cause I was so scurrred I was gunna get cut! [gasp] but yeah anyways, its been awhile. I have an obsession with bands such as the postal service, straylight run, armor for sleep, brand new, tbs, my bloody valentine, daphne loves derby, &brand new yes there are more but the list is way to long. so many bands own you. thats right. <33
well err work has been a bitch. i didnt go yesterday though [uh-oh] yeahh im tired i stayed up all night trying to do this thing we like to call layout making im no good.
whoa whoa whoa! I definately did NOT need to see that. Ok so i clicked on some girls eljay and she had all these pictures of her naked.. sorry but I wasnt expecting that and ew.
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| <|3 close the window love - keep the world outside |
[16 Jun 2004|06:13am] |
photobucket is gay. & my background doesnt show up.uhh this was exactly what i posted in my xanga. which you should go comment. mmhmm
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
<33
add me bitch
Yesterday I went to Johnathans but he was asleep. I`m actually kind of glad cause I left his house and went to Krystals and met up with like alot of people. I had`nt seen since forever. I saw Christian. He`s really cute and sweet. One time we were at this party and we all had to go to the bathrooms cause it was a thunderstorm and I was like one of the last ones to get in the bathrooms and he was like what you think you too cute to die? I was like uhh no! so he`s like your cute, but not too cute to die! lol. it was funny at that moment. you had to be there. err John was there. We used to have a "thing" but that slowly did fade and my frrlings remainded. I want to be over him so bad. He was over my house today then he had to take his sister home and when he came back I was asleep. I was so pissed. haha. & its like 5 am. Terry this lady that lives above me just came and told me my music was too loud. haha. what can i say, I love everything acoustic.
<33
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| <|3 doctorrr |
[13 Jun 2004|01:10am] |
back in school they never taught us what we needed to know like how to deal with despair or someone breaking your heart <|3
so ever since i was grounded for getting drunk i havent been able to use the phone - go anywhere - do anything. I should literally have crawled up in my room and died. but i hung in there and today was the first day i`ve seen the light of day since like two weeks but for me it was like two years. just cause i`m almost never at home so it seemed like hella long.
add me, i`ll add you back.
if i lover you.
if not suck it.
<\3
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